The saas-bahu saga is comprehendible on the crust but a lot simmers down deep. Two women, always in the middle of a tug of war, animosity in the air, hostility in the heart, what's really with every saas-bahu's strained relationship is what we intend to unwrap.
Disappointing comments from Vicky Jain's mother, Ranjana Jain on the recently culminated Bigg Boss 18 have once again sparked debate around the saas-bahu dynamic but this time we thought of digging deeper. What’s with the chemistry between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law?
The Typical Saas-Bahu Portrayal
She is an Indian saasu ma, she is the master of the disapproving glare, someone who loves wearing bold bindis, carries beautifully draped sarees day in and day out, and stirs up drama like no other. The bahu, on the other hand, never does it right, lacks the 'sanskaari' factor, and tries to control the husband's life but is mostly not seen as more than a womb (to bear the heir of the family).
Interestingly, the portrayals of saas-bahu relationships on the screen are drawn from societal expectations and cultural norms that have existed for the longest time, and no wonder the audiences haven't questioned it all this while.
Shows centred around saas-bahu dynamics are sure-shot crowd-pullers with a good mix of elements that Indian audiences prefer, the saas-bahu tu-tu-main-main, the OTT dramatisation of fights over excess salt in the dal, the unexpected twists and whatnot.
The entertainment value of these shows is so high that viewers are drawn to them even years after they went off air. For instance, Kokilaben and Gopi Modi from ‘Saath Nibhana Saathiya’ is a saas-bahu jodi we crave to watch on our TV sets. 'Rasode mein kaun tha?', yes, we do care, the 'la la la' moments serve the cheap thrills, and the recurring loops of each character's reaction adds just the perfect tadka.
Saas-Bahu Memes Always Making Us Feel Like A Wow
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Talk of relatable memes and there we have our all-time favourite, the classic saas-bahu memes. The relatability factor is great and the entertainment quotient is at its peak but little do we all realise that there's more to these memes than meets the eye. Did you ever realise that real-life experiences and cultural context make most of these memes relatable for all of us? So, maybe, next time we go 'oh! that's so like my saasu maa', you know, there are women out there, sharing that common feeling or experience.
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Why Do Saas-Bahu Fight After All?
The issues between a Mother-In-Law (MIL) and Daughter-In-Law (DIL) are usually dramatised to an extent for entertainment purposes on the screen but behind the exaggerated depictions are real-life conflicts that have existed for ages.
To begin with, cultural differences, generational gaps, and gender roles create a lot of tension between a MIL and a DIL. In most Indian families, even today, it is the mother-in-law who is the decision maker, be it deciding, 'what to cook for dinner today' or 'when should the bahu plan a baby'.
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A research paper published online in 2022 - Qualitative Examination of the Role and Influence of Mothers-in-Law on Young Married Couples’ Family Planning in Rural Maharashtra, India suggests how the mother-in-law's traditional mindset towards motherhood and role in a sons' and daughter-in-law's decision making affects family planning.
With family planning and childbearing comes the clash of perspectives. The constant pressure of 'marne se pehle pote ka muh dikha do' (show us our grandson's face before we die) is real. On the other hand, the DIL might want to make the decision keeping in mind her personal goals or simply just don't feel ready to bear a child.
Further, personal choices, financial considerations, communication gaps, and external pressures affect the saas-bahu dynamics.
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But saas-bahus are not always in conflict, see Messy Mama (Sameera Reddy) and Sassy Saasu (Manhri Varde), the MIL-DIL jodi has won hearts with their dynamics. In an interview with SheThePeople, the two said, "It's not easy but we make it work." Well, then that calls for efforts from both ends.