Sex is the most intimate act between a couple. While porn has created high and unrealistic standards, the act of intimacy must be about enjoying the company and experiencing pleasure.
The lack of sex education often makes us question things that must be normalised so that people do not feel embarrassed in their private space. Therefore, we connected with Artika Singh, an award-winning sexuality educator, who opened up about things that couples need to normalise in their intimate lives.
Self-Pleasure
Self-pleasure is one of the best ways to explore what works for you and what doesn’t. Singh says it allows a person to get to know their bodies better and communicate their needs to partners.
Therefore, people must normalise masturbation for singles as well as those in relationships. It does not amount to cheating on your partner and is a healthy practice to experience pleasure.
Queefing
Queefing is a term that defines vaginal farts. It happens when air gets trapped in your vaginal opening and comes out while making a fart noise. It is common during sex.
Unlike butt farts, there is no odour during queefing. Therefore, we need to normalise it rather than make our partners feel embarrassed about it. A person can’t control it, and they are not caused by any underlying condition.
Not Enjoying Sex
We need to normalise not enjoying sex. While you might have seen couples in porn enjoying every act of intimacy, it is almost impossible in real life.
Many times, you might not be on your A-game or might be stressed about something. Unlike television, your intimate life is not choreographed and can be affected by many things. Therefore, we must not put pressure on ourselves as well as our partners about enjoying sex every time.
You should also be aware of sexual orientations in case you do not like sex at all. It is about personal preferences.
Getting Tired During Sex
Singh says it is normal to get tired during sex or want to take a break. “It does not make you weak,” she adds. In fact, the process can be tiring sometimes, or your mood just might flick off in the middle of the act.
Hence, if your partner needs a break or feels tired, it is okay to allow them some breaks. It eventually is all about communicating your needs and understanding the other person.
Sweating During Sex
Unlike sexually graphic films, sex in real life is messy and sweaty. According to several health reports, the act of intimacy burns hundreds of calories. It is only normal to sweat.
Hence, instead of making a fuss out of it, people should consider it normal and not make their partners feel about it. You should also know that with sweat, a funky smell is also natural with the exchange of bodily fluids.
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Vocalising That Your Liking For Sex
Singh says, “There is nothing wrong about not liking sex as well as vocalising that you like it.” It varies from person to person. However, in any case, you should be comfortable talking about the subject with your partner. If a person judges you for your likes and dislikes, maybe it’s a red flag that you must take note of.
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Enjoying Variety In Sex
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Different people have different frequencies at which they enjoy sex (Why Women Want Sex). There is no harm in discussing this with your partner because communication can help you find a middle ground that would benefit you both and help you understand and amplify the pleasure quotient for each other.
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